How To Avoid Embarrassing Yourself In An Argument - Jordan Peterson

  • Published: 22 January 2018
  • Tyrion Video on Frames:
    Previous JP video on earning respect:
    Jordan Peterson VS Cathy Newman Debate

    How To Shut Down Conversational Bullies

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    Have you seen the Jordan Peterson and Cathy Newman debate?
    See for yourself how he deals with it and give us your opinion in the comments!

    We've all found ourselves in conversation and felt attacked like we started off talking about one thing and then the other person twisted our words and before we knew it, we lost our cool, lost respect in their eyes, and maybe even acted like a jerk. Now, I don't normally do the same person twice in a row but this interview between Cathy Newman and Jordan Peterson was just too interesting of an opportunity to discuss how you can handle someone who uses subtle conversational tricks to bully you into looking dumb. So in this video, you're gonna see firsthand some of the most common tricks that people might be using on you and you're also gonna learn how to reverse those so that you can walk out of a kind of aggressive situation having earned more respect than you had going in.

    So first off, to stop a conversational bully, you have to realize what's going on before it's too late. Now, typically, a person will reveal their aggressive attitude early on with their tone of voice and their word choice. Check out the rest that we will show in this video and how Jordan Peterson tackles them.

    1:49 Jordan Peterson deals with so-you're-saying trap
    2:39 Jordan Peterson deals with the "assuming the sale"
    5:30 Jordan Peterson deals with the smash technique
    7:08 But don't straw man the other person's ideas though
    7:47 And visual imagery can also help
    8:25 You can show them that they're already agreeing with you

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Comments • 14 237

  • Truck Taxi
    Truck Taxi  5 hours back

    Extremely observant and analytical excellent for science too much for humanity

    • Drew Rycerz
      Drew Rycerz  5 hours back

      You make a living stating the obvious lol.

      • Daniel Kim
        Daniel Kim  8 hours back

        Thanks for the break down. I don’t agree with all of peterson’s beliefs but it is a pleasure to see him fence with his mind and words.

        • Ban Usury Worldwide
          Ban Usury Worldwide  11 hours back

          Why do you want to earn respect from bullies?

          • yourr namee
            yourr namee  1 days back

            that is gold!

            • java the hut
              java the hut  1 days back

              So your saying you love Jordan?

              • Personal Jihad
                Personal Jihad  1 days back

                Newman seems typical of MANY television interviewers (and reporters) these days: YOU, the interviewee are a prop to THEIR wanting as much attention and focus as possible on themselves. They'll lie, cheat and steal to keep that attention too.

                • Oneßlood
                  Oneßlood  1 days back

                  Or just hit them in the face lol

                  • Gautham Menon
                    Gautham Menon  2 days back

                    He's a psychologist so he knows exactly what he's doing

                    • Marina Boyd
                      Marina Boyd  2 days back


                      • maisto
                        maisto  2 days back

                        9:00 look at his face expressions, he counterattacks like a shark 😀😁😂 this man has a high degree of social intelligence. No wonder he has a huge number of followers.

                        • Cosmo Kramer
                          Cosmo Kramer  2 days back

                          Woman should put up with it.

                          • Γρηγόρης Πανούσης

                            How to avoid embarrassing yourself in an argument. By only joining arguments where you are obviously right.

                            • CUTTING EDGE
                              CUTTING EDGE  3 days back

                              How CNN haven't hired her yet???

                              • uscgalpha91
                                uscgalpha91  3 days back

                                Slow down in your narriative. You are overtalking your points

                                • El Gringo
                                  El Gringo  3 days back

                                  " Hah gotcha " : the greatest line in television history

                                  • Ash lad
                                    Ash lad  3 days back

                                    Anyone else think Cathy should wash her hair?

                                    • BRS RC
                                      BRS RC  3 days back

                                      That was interesting

                                      • mehtasid
                                        mehtasid  3 days back

                                        Sometimes women can read things that aren't there, feel bad, feel hurt and then be against what they *think* is unfair and wrong. It happens because women speak in hints and subtleties rather than straight talk, so they automatically read between the lines when someone else speaks. Often, they *read wrong* and get angry and upset. Once they reach there they keep looking for more lines to misread between. And you get a Cathy Newman.

                                        • Ross Davies
                                          Ross Davies  4 days back

                                          I do agree that Jordan’s “gotcha” may not have directly improved his standing with Cathy for the reasons you discussed, it might be worth considering that that actually serves as a tension breaker. Examine the wider scenario - Jordan Peterson has essentially sprung his trap and managed to get Cathy Newman onside in front of her own audience. Chances are if that moment had been left unchecked Cathy would have lost the interest of a solid portion of her audience, and she could well have fixated on that for some considerable time. The “gotcha” creates the momentary laughter that serves as a distraction for the audience especially from the ramifications of what’s just happened, and allows them to carry on without much interruption or even any noticeable time or thought being given to it. Peterson may have made her look a bit silly, but he also created a distraction from the humiliation that his silence could have invited. Just a thought. Somebody feel free to tell me if I’ve missed something or I’m off base here.

                                          • Ross Davies
                                            Ross Davies  4 days back

                                            Didn’t mean to write a small essay btw, apologies.

                                        • hummingbirdcity
                                          hummingbirdcity  4 days back

                                          So you're saying "so you're saying..." is a red flag.

                                          • Paddy Orourke
                                            Paddy Orourke  4 days back

                                            Can't have a civil conversation with any liberal these days. Sure, I'll have one with a leftist lib, but only IF I MUST.

                                            • Attila Beres
                                              Attila Beres  4 days back

                                              Awesome analysis, and I've found that unfortunately Jordan tends to focus on factual correctness in his arguments rather than on feelings and unmet needs, as you seem to have suggested. It gives me the impression that he tries to force himself into an intellectual level where he feels safe and protected, from his own feelings and unmet needs and from becoming vulnerable. I'm sure he is more than qualified to do that, he just doesn't seem to be willing to. I'm sure he'd be able to lose a lot of his haters if he ventured into the realms of openly shared vulnerability, empathy and honesty, about his own feelings and needs as well.

                                              • Attila Beres
                                                Attila Beres  4 days back

                                                To me personally, Jordan has given a lot of inspiration to develop my mental abilities and become better informed. His usual relentless focus on factually correct communication I think is appropriate only when his audience is agreeable or generally open to what he has to say. In cases like this however, where he is being attacked and accused, I suggest his routine approach won't serve the greater good; won't dissolve conflict beyond maybe a temporary disruption of negative attitudes, and won't promote healing among those who feel chronically threatened by what he says.

                                                His is an extremely mental, masculine approach to arguing that attracts both those who prefer to be strongly grounded in facts and objective "truth", and also those who want to unconsciously distance themselves from their lack of confidence and sense of self-worth, from their feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness. He is also a role model of emotional distancing/repression that attracts insecure, young men too in great numbers who need a powerful, confident male figure in the external world to align with, to complement their inner lack of these masculine qualities Jordan represents. They can use him as a weapon to smite everything in the world that they feel threatened by, without nurturing those qualities within. Hence the rampant "Jordan has DESTROYED another snowflake" comments and video titles where feelings of powerlessness and inadequacy get projected out, things that the interviewer might have referred to as "abuse and anger". Despite of being the shining beacon of factual correctness, I believe this is the shadow side of Jordan's legacy, the seed of which he, I suggest, he carries within himself.

                                            • Dene Freeland
                                              Dene Freeland  4 days back

                                              The problem is that Cathy Newman was constantly on the attack and Jordan Peterson was constantly on the defensive. Even if that defense was brilliant, the best Jordan can do on an emotional level is nullify. That's why Cathy Newman claimed that the debate was a draw. She saw it purely from an emotional level. Having said that I thought Jordan Peterson did a stellar job.

                                              • DK Durham
                                                DK Durham  4 days back

                                                Jordan, though I agree with much of these videos, is actually a twisted neurotic scam artist

                                                • Brenden Duck
                                                  Brenden Duck  4 days back

                                                  Really liked the commentary of this video, especially the notion of assumption close, I am in Carsales I specifically avoid assumption close terms, as its in my opinion a popular tactic. I do completely agree with the notion of using the other persons words either against them to get the right result

                                                  • Monique Benun
                                                    Monique Benun  5 days back

                                                    Excellent video. Thank you

                                                    • The Plutonian
                                                      The Plutonian  5 days back

                                                      I don't mean to be rude, but in short, this twat is a manipulative (bleep). Just learn to listen well. End o'story.

                                                      • Vibetrading
                                                        Vibetrading  5 days back

                                                        Great video

                                                        • oshrit khvalev
                                                          oshrit khvalev  5 days back

                                                          I feel tgat tge last example- showing you already agree- is indeed tough. I think it's easier to accomplish by understanding the perspective of the opposite side and by understanding what really could be wrong with my opinion , however solid it is. I welcome your suggestions and I'll try for my self to find what helps me.

                                                          • Dave Wesley
                                                            Dave Wesley  5 days back

                                                            Marxists are sneaky little shits.

                                                            • DC Bon
                                                              DC Bon  5 days back

                                                              I would like to see the narrator of this video do an actual debate to see if he's just an echo or a real one.

                                                              • Tim Miller
                                                                Tim Miller  5 days back

                                                                Wrong. Flat out. Peterson needed to punctuate the “ gotcha “ Because Kathy was not really asking questions, she was piling on previous misconceptions against this very tactical thought Hero

                                                                • Garth Custers
                                                                  Garth Custers  5 days back

                                                                  This was very informative, thank you.

                                                                  • Michael Martin Gertsen

                                                                    Speak the truth and dont worry about anything else

                                                                    • John Smith
                                                                      John Smith  5 days back

                                                                      Peterson: "I ate a gourmet hamburger once".
                                                                      Interviewer: "So you are saying that Ronald McDonald is your God"?

                                                                      • John Smith
                                                                        John Smith  5 days back

                                                                        Peterson: "I like sushi"
                                                                        Interviewer: "So you are saying that you're Japanese"?

                                                                        • John Smith
                                                                          John Smith  5 days back

                                                                          Peterson: "I like swimming".
                                                                          Interviewer: "So you are saying that the earth should be flooded with water"?

                                                                          • John Smith
                                                                            John Smith  5 days back

                                                                            Peterson: "I like swimming".
                                                                            Interviewer: "So you are saying that the earth should be flooded with water"?

                                                                            • John Smith
                                                                              John Smith  5 days back

                                                                              Peterson: "I like cats".
                                                                              Interviewer: "so you are saying that we should kill dogs"?

                                                                              • John Smith
                                                                                John Smith  5 days back

                                                                                *Peterson clears throat*
                                                                                Newman: ‘So you’re saying we should spit in the face of poor people?’

                                                                                • Sean Burnett
                                                                                  Sean Burnett  5 days back

                                                                                  Love your vids man. Possibly my favorite channel

                                                                                  • Thomas Frink
                                                                                    Thomas Frink  5 days back

                                                                                    You make the wonderful observation that Peterson didn't "proactively address her deeper, unstated emotional concern ... that Jordan is her enemy.... He could have ... pointed to a more common ground that they share." If he had wanted to do that, do you have any thoughts on how he might have done so?

                                                                                    • Rose is a Door
                                                                                      Rose is a Door  5 days back

                                                                                      “I am not a murderer”
                                                                                      “So you’re saying we should kill all murderers?”

                                                                                      • JL C
                                                                                        JL C  5 days back

                                                                                        dude shut up so we can listen geeeeezzzzz

                                                                                        • Danny F
                                                                                          Danny F  5 days back

                                                                                          Classroom bell ring...
                                                                                          Teacher: So you assume you can leave just because the bell rang?

                                                                                          • Il Al
                                                                                            Il Al  2 days back

                                                                                            @RanEncounter it is poor planning if a teacher gets more questions than they expected: you have to be constantly aware of time and if it is getting too close to not leaving time for the other things you have to cut the question segment short before it is too late and either tell kids to submit the questions in writing or that you'll allot a time slot for more questions next time. My mother is a teacher, I have known several people who became teachers, and being a teacher is being a kind of leader and guide. Personal responsibility doesn't cease to exist just because you're a teacher. If you fail to do your job that is on you and you need to level up your planning and leadership skills.

                                                                                          • RanEncounter
                                                                                            RanEncounter  2 days back

                                                                                            @Il Al Look there is a balance. This is not a black and white issue. Sure there are teachers that do it poorly and teachers that do it greatly.

                                                                                          • RanEncounter
                                                                                            RanEncounter  2 days back

                                                                                            @Il Al So if a teacher gets more than usual amount of questions they have to cut the class exactly at the second the bell rings? You have got to be kidding me.

                                                                                          • Il Al
                                                                                            Il Al  2 days back

                                                                                            @RanEncounter yes, but it is their job to plan the lesson well enough to fit the actual time frame. Kids have other classes they have to hurry to, if the teacher isn't done that's on the teacher, and it isn't right to make kids late for their other classes

                                                                                        • S R
                                                                                          S R  6 days back

                                                                                          This video just improved my social skills

                                                                                          • willow bell
                                                                                            willow bell  6 days back

                                                                                            For a shallow medium like You Tube, you presenters do have a lots of idioms (I think that's the right word). Straw manning?
                                                                                            I'm glad there are not many women running the FTSE market, but there again I'm a Marxist, so I would say that.