How To Avoid Embarrassing Yourself In An Argument - Jordan Peterson

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  • Published: 22 January 2018
  • Tyrion Video on Frames: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NQiHtbpa8s&
    Previous JP video on earning respect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsQLksbfDSo&
    Jordan Peterson VS Cathy Newman Debate
    https://goo.gl/jP3ZYs

    How To Shut Down Conversational Bullies

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    Have you seen the Jordan Peterson and Cathy Newman debate?
    See for yourself how he deals with it and give us your opinion in the comments!

    We've all found ourselves in conversation and felt attacked like we started off talking about one thing and then the other person twisted our words and before we knew it, we lost our cool, lost respect in their eyes, and maybe even acted like a jerk. Now, I don't normally do the same person twice in a row but this interview between Cathy Newman and Jordan Peterson was just too interesting of an opportunity to discuss how you can handle someone who uses subtle conversational tricks to bully you into looking dumb. So in this video, you're gonna see firsthand some of the most common tricks that people might be using on you and you're also gonna learn how to reverse those so that you can walk out of a kind of aggressive situation having earned more respect than you had going in.

    So first off, to stop a conversational bully, you have to realize what's going on before it's too late. Now, typically, a person will reveal their aggressive attitude early on with their tone of voice and their word choice. Check out the rest that we will show in this video and how Jordan Peterson tackles them.

    1:49 Jordan Peterson deals with so-you're-saying trap
    2:39 Jordan Peterson deals with the "assuming the sale"
    5:30 Jordan Peterson deals with the smash technique
    7:08 But don't straw man the other person's ideas though
    7:47 And visual imagery can also help
    8:25 You can show them that they're already agreeing with you

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Comments • 15 539

  • Steve
    Steve  3 hours back

    OK. From a viewer perspective , not of this channel , of this interview. You want to hear the answers to the questions , in fact, exactly what your suggesting is what outrages me about talk shows and certainly modern journalism. Yes her emotional state was the key , but the way he played this was actually genius. He let her get emotional , let her say her piece , he answered those questions he waited for it. All without PIVOTING once 👏🏻 . If he did you would say he was avoiding the questions. To avoid a question just to get to that core emotion would/may have diffused the situation and the interview would have went smooth, this way was better for his book. This is a special type of controversy , the one where you start out with serious discontent and then through conversation are able to realize you are on the same side. Obviously in the US we're very familiar with disagreeing with or even so much as hating an idea just because of the person it was a product of. For instance anything POTUS touches . I digress , the underlying fact is this man is selling a book and this more heated interaction between Jordan & Cathy will sell more books. BTW , when he 'got-her' , he got her , she was turned on 1000% .

    • Dirk Boersma
      Dirk Boersma  3 hours back

      Great analysis of this interview, and a very clear example of situations in which you feel attacked. I love the way you explain what is going on in the exchange, and what lessons can be learned from this.
      I learned how important it is to be aware of hidden presuppositions and sneaky implications in others’ questions.

      • Patrick Donovan
        Patrick Donovan  16 hours back

        Bull. Being smarter about a subject doesn't make you a bully. WRONG.She is twisting his words to fit HER understanding. He corrects her. Get some LIFE EXPERIENCE

        • Dominic Maguire
          Dominic Maguire  17 hours back

          Something I would've liked to see is something concretely exemplified as an alternative to Peterson's "gotcha." While I could think of a dozen better ways to go about it almost immediately, I think it would be nice to show that she might not have felt "wrong and silly" if he had said something like "see? that's what i mean here," positioning himself as a teacher rather than an opponent.

          • Gonzalo Azocar.
            Gonzalo Azocar.  19 hours back

            JORDAN...A BIG BRAIN

            • Mike Lamoreaux
              Mike Lamoreaux  1 days back

              This is fantastic breakdown and examples.

              • pmcllc
                pmcllc  1 days back

                At the end of the day the one that wins the argument is the one with a longer stick

                • peace out
                  peace out  1 days back

                  ""Gotcha"- she got tails attached....

                  • mtlicq
                    mtlicq  1 days back

                    Satan's tail?

                • George Russell
                  George Russell  2 days back

                  So many parallels to men being from Mars and Women from Venusoyou'resaying.

                  • Muhammad Danyal Khan
                    Muhammad Danyal Khan  2 days back

                    Jordan Peterson: I am a man
                    Cathy: So you're saying you hate women
                    Jordan: No... Im saying that You cant spell women without men...
                    Cathy: Really?
                    Jordan: Yeah... cant spell Cathy NewMAN without Man.... :P
                    Cathy: :O
                    Jordan: Gotcha :P

                    • RevelGirl 1
                      RevelGirl 1  2 days back

                      Loved this vid, nice job

                      • gangster3591
                        gangster3591  2 days back

                        I will have nothing to do with women like this BBC interviewer (obnoxious feminist.) I avoid them like the plague. Dr Peterson as usual is impressive and interesting

                        • Macmittens411
                          Macmittens411  2 days back

                          Joke: What Do Women say when they can't get what they want? (:

                        • Mic GC
                          Mic GC  2 days back

                          Wow, that subliminal "If you like the video, hit the like button" really works well, you're about 200k more like on this video, brilliant. Thanks for sharing the technique. :)

                          • hart
                            hart  2 days back

                            동의한게아니라 자기약맛을 자기한테보여준거지

                            • Malcontent
                              Malcontent  2 days back

                              Peterson "gotcha"
                              interviewer " oh so you like when women bleed"

                              • TheTuttleCrew
                                TheTuttleCrew  2 days back

                                Great observations!!!

                                • Yvonne Terran
                                  Yvonne Terran  2 days back

                                  **Room with complete silence**
                                  Woman : "You are oppressing me with your violence of silence"

                                  • cheap monks
                                    cheap monks  2 days back

                                    Talking to a bitchy person is very difficult. Kudos to Mr. Peterson and YES, that girl is so bitchy.

                                    • Belligerent Instigator

                                      So you're saying everyone needs to commit mass genocide? So you're saying we should drop all babies off of tall buildings? So you're saying you are actually Hitler?

                                      • D H
                                        D H  2 days back

                                        Why argue with the woman .

                                        • Tom Hinde
                                          Tom Hinde  3 days back

                                          Choice ends when you spread your legs.. you made your choice..

                                          • OxTail n Roti
                                            OxTail n Roti  3 days back

                                            "I love your Hugs and kisses 🥰"
                                            "So what you're saying is if I was in an accident and lost my arms and lips, you wouldnt love me anymore"
                                            ?Whut¿

                                            • Dave BB
                                              Dave BB  3 days back

                                              Avoid being embarrassed. Use facts not opinions.
                                              Use logic not emotion

                                              • lessevdoolbretsim
                                                lessevdoolbretsim  3 days back

                                                Jordan,
                                                "Social hierarchies have been an essential part of human biology, which is similar to lobsters, who respond to anti-depressants like humans, which are 350,000,000 years old."
                                                Kathy,
                                                "So, you rode a giant lobster to get here to the studio today, then."

                                                • lessevdoolbretsim
                                                  lessevdoolbretsim  3 days back

                                                  When he devastated her on the free-speech question, and he put that scowl on his face for effect....then grinned?
                                                  I think he should've kept the scowl on his face to burn that point into her very soul....that's how important it was.

                                                  • Bob Warren
                                                    Bob Warren  3 days back

                                                    Although I agree with your assessments on this video, I also understand that it is much easier to be a Monday morning quarterback than it is when it is happening live. Hindsight is 20/20. I seriously doubt that you or anyone else would have done a better job had you been the one in the hot seat.

                                                    • Daniel Willis
                                                      Daniel Willis  3 days back

                                                      Hope that blonde has watched this video and learned something.

                                                      • Hot Head
                                                        Hot Head  3 days back

                                                        Watch video ofndevdutt patnaik..he is indian peter

                                                        • Captain Turrican
                                                          Captain Turrican  3 days back

                                                          From 08:45 watch Jordan's brilliant answer to this unprofessional and annoying interviewer,bravo for him

                                                          • Capricornus Astud
                                                            Capricornus Astud  3 days back

                                                            Wow man I learned a lot by just watching this video

                                                            • G n
                                                              G n  3 days back

                                                              assuming the sale-find the hidden suppositions and address them directly

                                                              • BeBopScraBoo
                                                                BeBopScraBoo  3 days back

                                                                what you're calling the "smash technique" is called the *gish gallop*.

                                                                • Tatiana Bojarckuk
                                                                  Tatiana Bojarckuk  3 days back

                                                                  @ berhardhjordan

                                                                  • 11joeg
                                                                    11joeg  3 days back

                                                                    Gotcha

                                                                    • Liam Mccarron
                                                                      Liam Mccarron  3 days back

                                                                      Were women predominantly Beatle fans? We're they decisive? She had an agenda, it blew up in her face.

                                                                      • Liam Mccarron
                                                                        Liam Mccarron  3 days back

                                                                        Being offended, doesn't make you right.

                                                                        • Abi Shah
                                                                          Abi Shah  3 days back

                                                                          she was abused this is why she is arguing with peter

                                                                          • AngleCorp7Music
                                                                            AngleCorp7Music  4 days back

                                                                            This is a great video. Thanks!!! A Million $$$

                                                                            • yy z
                                                                              yy z  4 days back

                                                                              I love jordan

                                                                              • Junaid Khalid
                                                                                Junaid Khalid  4 days back

                                                                                Jordon Peterson: people should take care of their health,
                                                                                Interviewer: so you're saying that we should stop watching porn? 🤣🤣

                                                                                • Gabriel Gurgel
                                                                                  Gabriel Gurgel  4 days back

                                                                                  Wow, this made me realize that this mas is really a genius and i'm not so bad at debates.

                                                                                  • discflickerDotcom
                                                                                    discflickerDotcom  4 days back

                                                                                    I have a wicked cousin. EVERY time I see her, usually at family affairs with other relatives, she strategically waits for me to talk, and then she interrupts me with a nasty bomb. Every time she does this, it sets me right off, on queue. The last couple of times, I tried to get ahead of her and had a snappy answer. OK, so behind my back she's badmouthed me to the point where nobody calls me any more at all. Seems like I'm outmatched because I never expect these horrible things to be said, and especially from a "beloved" family member.

                                                                                    • optikalillusion777
                                                                                      optikalillusion777  4 days back

                                                                                      i'm not sure I get Jordan on this one. 1/3 of a billion is about 333million. Trees first showed up 380million years ago.

                                                                                      • Jose Salazar
                                                                                        Jose Salazar  4 days back

                                                                                        Very interesting

                                                                                        • Rylan Joran
                                                                                          Rylan Joran  4 days back

                                                                                          10:17 He didn't do it to convince her. The purpose of this interview has never been to convince her anyway and she didn't do it to convince him of anything either, it all was about hammering home a message to the audience, and he did it on her expense.

                                                                                          • Beeg D00kie
                                                                                            Beeg D00kie  4 days back

                                                                                            notice the jump cut at @2:00. purposely trying to make it look like she was cutting him off


                                                                                            Also, notice that her emotion is not aggressive, but rather it is defensive in reaction to what he had said in regards to women. She had apparently taken that as a challenge to women's validity, and was acting in a defensive manner, from her point of view.

                                                                                            • Paarth Sharma
                                                                                              Paarth Sharma  4 days back

                                                                                              10:35 You can't wake up a person who's pretending to be asleep